I Need To Find a New Favorite Day of the Week

(I feel it is necessary to start by saying that I do not own nor do I have the rights to the video above. All rights are reserved for ARK MUSIC FACTORY. Youtube does have an embed code, hence I am able to embed this video in my rant for your viewing pleasure. All that being said, I do have the right to critique and voice my opinion on this video)

Oh, Friday, you used to be my favorite day of the week. You symbolize the end of the hard week and the beginning of the enjoyable weekend. I cannot begin to express my utmost sympathy for you. You did nothing to deserve the pain this “song” has caused you. The video above is the most recent viral video to hit the net. If you have not yet watched it, you will not understand the following post. I advise you try to sit through the entire video before reading any further.

I don’t know where to begin. Both the song and the video are just so inviting to insults I can’t decide which to knock first. This is a MUSIC VIDEO, so let’s critique them both at the same time shall we? Going chronologically makes the most sense, so that is how I will conduct my rant. I have to admit that the note card idea was interesting and I did enjoy that. Sadly, the video goes downhill from there. First thing I noticed about the song was the auto-tune. OK, I guess I can let that go considering that nearly every song today uses it. OK fine, let’s skip that. So she goes downstairs and everything is in fast forward behind her. That’s cool, but I found it quite funny that the lips did not match up to the voice at all. Right after she leaves the house comes my favorite scene of the video. She’s waiting at the bus stop and sees her friends pull up. Is it just me, or does anyone else think all of them look under seventeen. They can’t be driving with more than one person in the car! If you’re going to have more than one person in the car MAKE SURE THEY HAVE ON THEIR SEAT BELTS AND ARE SITTING DOWN! Where the hell are the police when you need them? OK, now she wants to know, which seat she can take. Well Miss, there are currently four people in the car and five seats. Considering your friends are old enough to drive, I’m assuming you all can do the math.

Let’s take it to the chorus. The chorus is actually not too shabby. I did laugh though when the girl in the passenger seat was swimming through the air with her hand. Now they are abiding by the law, but to the boy driving, I have one thing to say: KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL SIR!

Now I’m assuming they are going to a party considering the change of car and the change of attire. Once again I cannot stress the importance of wearing one’s seatbelt enough. Also, if she claims she’s on the highway, then why the hell is she sitting on top of the car? Now we approach the first line of bad lyric writing: “You know what it is/I got this/You got this/…Now you know it”….What do I know??? What is it??? What is this??? What do I got (besides bad grammar)??? I doubt I’ll ever get those questions answered because she immediately asks once again which seat she can take. Now I am beginning to doubt her math skills. Miss Black, four people in the car, plus you, equals five people, hence you only have one seat option since everyone else is already seated. Someone get her a tutor ASAP!

I’ll skip the chorus this time for fear of being repetitive, but now we come to the best part of the song. Do you remember when you were in Kindergarten and you learned the days of the week? Well in case you are still having trouble, have no fear! Rebecca Black is here!

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today it is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today

Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after… wards
I don’t want this weekend to end

I think we have another Rhodes Scholar here! I guess considering her previous problems with math we should be happy that she can remember the days let alone in order. These have to be some of the worst lyrics of all time. This is one time that the artist will not want to take credit for the lyrics. I thought rap was lazy, but now that I heard these stanzas that must have been thrown together in a matter of seconds by a kindergartener, I almost feel bad about knocking rap….almost.

Cue the cliché meaningless rap! During this rap I got the feeling that maybe this entire video is just a subliminal message about bad driving and driving manners. The driver is not paying attention to the road whatsoever and it looks like he has his eyes closed 90% of the time.

Yes! Now we’re in the home stretch! Let’s end it with another round of the chorus! This time she is somewhat dancing and singing in front of her friends, but I find the way the people are dancing quite entertaining. They look like they’re just kind of flailing aimlessly. Maybe they realized how bad the song was too and just didn’t want to be there?

YOU MADE IT! YOU’RE DONE! You have just completed watching (and reading about) one of the worst songs/music videos ever created.

Doctor’s Orders: People have been debating whether or not this video is meant to be a joke or if this is the new Justin Bieber. To me it’s one in the same, but what do you think? Leave me a comment telling me what you think of the video and my analysis.

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